dinner with a stuck up bitch

The truth is that, when out with normal people, I won’t understand a few movie or pop culture references in a row, and THEN it gets awkward because THEY’RE lost with without premanufactured reference points.  Oh gawd I might have to explain why I like that movie/song/whatever instead of taking it for granted that everybody knows.  Communication is so hard and scary!

The most important thing in this video is that, when he asks her a question at the end, she’s as responsive to him as a corpse.  She only signaled lack of interest in the ways we need help having a clue about.

Normal people are flabbergasted when one of their assumptions is questioned, so it’s easier to just hate the autistic person for making them feel that way.

Shouldn’t talking to any expressive autistic person be interesting, to the extent that normal people don’t know what it’s like to be autistic whatsoever?  I mean, without knowing I’m autistic, drugs made me think about psychosis and I went to grad school and sat around thinking about what schizophrenia is like.  Because mental issues are on spectra, everyone can actually get insight into them by thinking about their own, less intense experiences.

Whoever made this video isn’t interested in what it’s like for other people.  This is a worse crime than having an interest and being over-excited to talk about it, while probably nervous from being there and agitated from the drive over.

This is how I’m being perceived, in all likelihood, but the only way to make the normals happy is to focus on what I’m doing and ignore this very salient fact about the situation.  Because if I thought about it, that’ll jinx my flow and signs of the dreaded “negativity” will appear.

I have to essentially become a psychotherapist to function in the world, because I’m starting from a position of having to overcome such extreme resistance.  Interesting that Lacan didn’t distinguish between personal and training analyses.

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