epic trump presidency recap

LOLWTF

“Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my ‘wires tapped’ in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!” Trump tweeted at 8:02 a.m. A few minutes later, he fired off this gem: “How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!”

It’s really hard to remember those innocent days, isn’t it? I mean, I’ve been sitting here like you have, literally drowning in the tsunami of last week. First Trump sends out a tweet that undercuts Secretary of State Rex Tillerson’s attempts to make some kind of deal with China to reign in North Korea, saying “Sorry, only one thing will work!” Which fires up speculation that he’s threatening a nuclear war. Then he flies to Puerto Rico to have a look at the devastation on the island which has 3.4 million without water or electricity, nobody is able to get anywhere because of washed out roads and bridges, no cell phone reception, people are literally starving from lack of food, and he stands in some fucking airport hanger and throws paper towels into a crowd and then gets on his jet and flies back to the White House and gives a couple of interviews congratulating himself for such a great trip.

Then it’s revealed that Tillerson had called the president “a fucking moron” at a meeting of national security officials at the Pentagon last summer. A day later, Trump poses for a photo before a dinner with military leaders, and tells the press what they are seeing is “the calm before the storm,” and when asked what he meant by that ominous phrase, answers “you’ll find out.” Then Senator Bob Corker gets into it with Trump, saying he was running the presidency like “a reality show, calling the White House an “adult day care center,” and going further to say that Trump’s saber rattling at North Korea could put us “on the path to World War III.” Trump fires back by calling Corker (who stands about 5-7) “Liddle’ Bob Corker,” and saying that the “failing New York Times” had set him up, “and that’s what I’m dealing with!” leaving aside that what he’s “dealing with” are the effects of three savage hurricanes, a congress that hasn’t passed a single item on his agenda, and the encroaching threat of the investigation of Special Counsel Robert Mueller, among other heavy issues. And all the while, he declared that every single report on the events of last week was “fake news.” His disastrous trip to Puerto Rico? Fake News. Tillerson’s “moron” comment? Fake news. He’s threatening North Korea? Fake news.

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