This article in Reductress is amazing! It doesn’t contain the word “autism” at all, but it explains what we can tell is going through the minds of Autism Parents.
Earlier this week, three-year-old Ian Vecci refused to leave the park without a leaf he’s totally obsessed with, further confirming his destiny as a huge fucking dork.
Although Ian has only been alive for three years, it’s safe to say that his obsession with this browning leaf and not with the Capri Sun his mom offered him, is a clear sign he’ll become a research scientist and not something cool like a lawyer or a bro who works at a startup.
Ian’s older brother, 10-year-old Renardo Vecci, admits that Ian’s fascination with the leaf leads him to believe his brother’s path won’t be easy.
“Dorks who like leaves don’t get sports, girls or happiness,” shares Renardo. “It’s a shame, we could have had some fun times together. He’s basically dead to me now.”
Sources confirm that Ian will grow up to be a physics professor with bifocals who writes a book but never gets married. Though he’ll have warm feelings towards a colleague, his bumbling foolishness will prevent him from ever telling her how he feels.
“It’s a pity my big leaf-obsessed nerd son will die alone someday,” says Eileen, the child’s mother, as she shakes her head. “If only he didn’t care so much about that fucking stupid leaf.”
The people who bullied us also grow up to have children with autism.
Fuck yeah, leaves.